found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
