God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
