one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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