Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
