fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
