I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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