I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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