do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
