Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we're so committed to being not committed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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