As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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