was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
