Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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