he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
