it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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