just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
