things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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