i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
