Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
