k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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