Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
