i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
