How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
