On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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