the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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