I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
