just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
