you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
