Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
