oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
