I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
