So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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