people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
