I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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