Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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