Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
