bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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