Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
