No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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