I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize