My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
