redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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