Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
