God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
