I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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