Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
