Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
