In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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