im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
