I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How does one acquire holy water?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
