Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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