Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize