the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
whose ass print is on the piano?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
