K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
