The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im holly from the hills drunk
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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