lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
