hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Randomize
