Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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