just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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