Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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