Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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