I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
